The big movies of the summer? Superman. Again. Mission Impossible. Again. Pirates of the Caribbean. Again. Miami Vice. Again. X-Men. Again. Poseidon. Again. As usual, a season of agains all over again. And then there’s this: Snakes on a Plane.
Let’s dispense with the artistic, clever titles and lay it on the line. Snakes on a Plane is exactly that. Don’t have to wonder what this movie is about. It has snakes. On a plane. Don’t ya love subtlety? But it gets better. Samuel L. Jackson is in it. He said when he saw that title, he had to do it. Well, heck yeah, who wouldn’t want to be in it? Airplane. Red Eye. Flight Plan. With Snakes. At least this summer cashschlocker wins points for brutal truth if not for artistic endeavor. Keep on peeling the layers off this surefire moneymaker and you begin to see how to really make a movie that sells.
Fans helped rewrite the snoozer they’d originally filmed before it ever hit the critics’ snooty putdowns. Through the ever-growing power of blogs, the public rewrote much of it, taking it from a PG-13 and cranking up the sexual content and gore to get an R. So much for that family values stuff we hear touted. Remember Remo Williams? It would have nailed an Oscar if they’d done this. If we voted for president like this, we’d get John McCain in a wifebeater, chugging a beer and beating Ted Kennedy with a garden hose while cursing homemade lyrics to My Humps. Oh, the fans also did the posters (something the horror movie Silent Hill did as well) and voted on some of the music that is in the movie. Power to the people. Democracy at its purest entertaining level.
So what other no-nonsense titled movies can we expect after Snakes on a Plane?
Teens And Crude Bodily Function Joke
Jerks Talking Really Nasty But Turning Nice In The Wedding Scene And Getting The Girl In The End
Creepy Little Girl Crawling Weirdly
Will Ferrell’s Butt Again
Robin Williams’ Film Career Goes Down The Tubes In RV Bomb
No Gay Cowboys But Maybe A Gay Horse
Psycho Freaks Chopping Off Fingers and Limbs
You Think That Was Bloody? Watch This!
Ghosts Who Don’t Know They’re Ghosts
Hot Actress/Actor Gets Naked
Old Actress Who Shouldn’t, Gets Naked
Animated Animals Talking
Story With A Hopefully Surprising Twist
Chick Flick That Will Make You Cry
Lots Of People Get Shot
He’s Lying!
Former Big Name Actor Trying To Revive Career By Taking Character Role
Small Movie About Relationships
The Underdog Team Scores At The Buzzer To Win
DaVinci Anything