Route 66 is only alive in legend and history now. The icon of American highways is no longer a federally designated road , and hasn’t been since it was Pluto’d in 1985. Another relic of our patriotic pedigree – Coney Island – may find salvation through a local developer , but who knows.
While I personally feel that the loss of Route 66 and the kitsch that defined it for almost 60 years is a scar on the cultural face of America (and the old road should be revived), Coney Island may get a second chance. There are investments to be made in nostalgia.
If you haven’t been to Coney Island in a while, it’s seen better days and may again thanks to a few hundred million that are being debated and praised and vilified by anyone within earshot of the guy yelling, “Shoot the freakin’ freak!” down from Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog stand.
Route 66 wasn’t so lucky.
Why have we, as a nation, forgotten these institutions that once defined us as the greatest country in the world? Sigmund Freud came to Coney Island and said it was the best thing about America. Route 66 was the funky, neoned conduit that created the aura of the American West.
Terrorists took the World Trade Center from us. Our own apathy, stupidity and more than a few rational excuses robbed us of Route 66 and Coney Island. Maybe the home of the Cyclone will survive to balance the loss of many other things across this great land that made us who we are. Yet somehow, cheap retail strip centers thrive on every corner while we watch our ancestral memories die beside the highway.
Are hot dogs, Mom and apple pie next? Will I drive my Chevy to the levee to find it not only dry but turned into luxury condos? Will my grandchildren not be able to See Rock City or drive the crooks of the Pacific Coast Highway or motor through that infamous redwood tree hole one day?
I am no neophyte, nor am I an emotional fan of tradition for tradition’s sake, but come on, folks, if people will pay big bucks to see a fake New York in Las Vegas, and a guy dressed like a big rodent in Orlando, don’t you think they’d pay a handsome price to see the most American chunk of this continent stretched from Lake Michigan to the Pacific Ocean?
Maybe I’m stupid – more than a few people have told me that – but what if Route 66 was restored into a 2,500 – mile theme park dotted with those classic, film noir motels and funky roadside attractions? No, it wouldn’t be cheap, but neither is a gallon of gas these days, and considering what one particular oil company made last year, they could do it and still make a profit — because how else would people see such a thing without filling their tanks over and over? Chaaa-chiing.
Map Quest that nostalgia – it’s 2,500 miles of cash, if someone pulled it off the right way. Think of the prom and branding possibilities of Phillips 66, Route 66 Root Beer, and a million other tie-ins.
The thing might be a self-propelled investment for an oil company. At 20 miles to the gallon, that’s 125 gallons – one way. At 3 bucks a gallon, that’s $375 worth of gas per person ($750 roundtrip). Add up the motel lodgings and food and attraction prices and some type of toll, and somebody just might make out like a smart investor. Let’s do some rough math.
Disneyland in California attracts about 10 million visitors a year, give or take. So if only half of those went to Disneyland on Route 66, and paid a $100 toll one way (that’s ridiculously cheap if you understand tolls) for the privilege, that’s $500 million. Make it a round trip, include the gas, and you have around $4.25 billion a year before food and accommodations. For comparison, Apple sold approximately $1.8 billion in iPods last year.
I am no economist, roads are expensive and neon isn’t cheap – but Americans are investing in a lot of business ventures that don’t make that much every year. To construct the road from scratch would cost roughly $2.5 million a mile, or $6.25 billion. You’d almost make your entire investment back in the first year if you did your job semi-correctly. I know, it’s naive to overlook the other costs that would be rolled up in such a venture. But is it naïve to also overlook the opportunities?
Math wasn’t my favorite subject, and if I were a better investor I’d be on a beach somewhere instead of writing this. But since I know I’ll never talk an investment banker into loaning me the kind of money I’d need to pull this off, I won’t charge you guys at Exxon for the advice. Just remember who gave you the idea and comp my gas – for life.
