Food is food. Drugs are drugs. We need someone watching out for each category individually instead of together. The job is just too big. The Food and Drug Administration has to ride herd on all of our drugs and our food at the same time? Those have become two pretty different groups. But if we combine the DEA and the FDA (since both deal with drugs), we even out the creation of a separate Food Department.
Some people would harangue me for having a big government view of this but if the government could help us anywhere (besides actually regulating the financial industry in a manner described by John C. Bogle), this is the place. The Centers For Disease Control could certainly use the preventive help from the two groups these days with swine flu roaming from pig to person to person.
How do alcohol, tobacco and firearms fit together? If the ATF gave up the A and T to a new Drug Administration as well, then Firearms could be dealt with by Homeland Security, which I thought was sort of the job of the FBI, since they do more than just investigate things. If we need Homeland Security to augment the FBI, then why not reorg the other things into more manageable piles? A separate Food Administration could actually have time to figure out why things that used to be as safe as a PBJ are now causing problems. A combined FBI/Firearms/Homeland Security Administration could deal with investigations, guns, disturbances, security and the like. The local police department does. Then again, I foolishly keep my food in the kitchen and my toilet paper in the bathroom when I could clearly keep some of each in both places, just to screw with my budget and my sanity.
If you have seen the pharmacies popping up on every corner in America (CVS, Rite Aid, Walgreens, for example), or if you have been prescribed medication costing $20 a pill, it is clear that drugs, legal and illegal, needs its own czar as well. No disrespect to pharmacists but drugs are drugs. Call that person The Drug Lord. Okay, maybe not.
Times have changed, though. If government should be good at anything, it should be protecting its citizens, not just from terrorists and criminals and foreign dictators, but also from stuff that can act like terrorists and criminals and dictators these days – like food and drugs and firearms. Put the guns with the gun guys, put the food with the food guys, and put the drugs with the drug guys. Organize this thing.
The CDC covers disease and that is a full-time job. So are the others.
No one has asked me for advice, mind you, but since George Carlin died, someone has to ask these questions. If you own a gun, do you keep it in the liquor cabinet or stashed with your cigs and chew? Probably not. Do you keep your drugs in the fridge with the ketchup and mustard or in the closet with your clothes and shoes?
Okay, not a good analogy. But you know what I mean.
The IRS is part of the Treasury Department and the USDA handles agriculture, right? That makes sense. So why isn’t the Nation Park Service and The Forest Service the same? Call it the Department of Outside.
Could we rearrange some of the letters of these alphabet departments so the functions better fit the form? Wouldn’t we save some money? Do we have too many forms for too little function? Do some of the functions need to fit with other forms? Is anyone asking?
Can’t the Air Force fly those planes off of aircraft carriers and pilot those helicopters instead of the Navy and Army having their own Air Forces? Even the National Guard and Coast Guard have planes. If it flies, it is in the Air Force. If it is on the ground, it’s in the Army. If it is in the water, it is the Navy. I am not going to mess with the Marines here, so they can do whatever they want.
We have a Center of Nutrition Policy and Promotion that is part of the USDA not the FDA. Huh?
There is a Defense Acquisition University. Do they have a football team? Talk about linebacker U. Perhaps the offense has a university of its own as well. Why not?
There is an Office of National Intelligence. I feel much smarter just knowing that.
Did you know there is a Bureau of Public Debt?
I guess you probably don’t really need to be in Office of National Intelligence know that last one.
