If you have one of these beasts, you know all about this subject. Some dogs shed more than others – pounds of hair a week. Rudy, our Jack, sheds so much he spends half of his energy just re-growing hair. We finally got a Dyson Animal. This thing is suppose to suck like Snakes On A Plane, but it struggles with the refuse of Rudy.
I had an uncle – whom I will not name, to protect the reputation of his children – who resembled a primate. He was so werwolfy hairy he could have gone naked and people would have thought he was wearing a fur coat. After he showered, the drain had a hair ball the size of a small child. After a visit to our house one weekend, my mother thought a beaver had come up through the pipes and drowned.
Because of Rudy’s shedding, we have to roll one of those sticky roller things over our clothes, especially if they are dark, and even more if they are fleece. Fleece and dog hair are passionately attracted to each other. If we collected a year’s worth of hard-to-pick-up hair from Rudy, we could make something, I don’t know what, but it would be big and hairy.
The good news is, Rudy is easy to keep track of. His hairy-ass-trail could be followed by a blind man as long as they were both on carpet. Since Rudy sits on us or the furniture most of the time, tracking him is stupidly easy anyway.
I’m sure there is an upside to the constant shedding, at least for Rudy. If he didn’t shed so much, he would be a 15-pound Jack Russell as large as a polar bear.
