Today, I heard something that proves people have no idea what they are putting into their mouths. If I start laughing before I finish, forgive me.
My son told me this story. The topic of conversation was pimento cheese sandwiches, a triangular staple of Southern church socials, at least from my recollection. During a conversation about food with several friends, he mentioned that he loved pimento cheese sandwiches. One person in the group had never heard of pimento cheese.
“Cheese with olives?” she said. “Yuk. That sounds disgusting.”
“Say what?” said my son. “Olives? What do you mean, olives with cheese? I said pimento cheese.”
“Pimento is red, right?” she said confidently. “It grows in the middle of olives.”
“Actually, olives have a pit in the middle, like a peach,” he said. “The pit is cored out leaving a hole and that’s where they stuff the pimento pepper.”
“Pimento is not a pepper?” she said. “Get out of here.”
Two years ago, a person I thought was relatively intelligent made a comment about cheese growing in Wisconsin.
“In cows?” I asked.
“No. Cheese plants. It grows in colder climates.”
It was a serious response. I was stupefied – the result of facing stupidity head on.
This is where I have to stop writing about such pernicious food gaffs, before I lose faith in life on earth. It makes me think there may be people who think a watermelon is the egg of water buffalo? Perhaps they do grow pimento olives with the cheese plants and the beer trees up near Milwaukee. How far north do you have to go to find french fry bushes?
