Recently, I have been hearing about government cheese, a code word for federal assistance. I remember real government cheese from 80’s (started by Reagan, of all presidents). The feds bought up excess dairy farmers’ cheese and stored it, finally giving it away. If you were elderly or didn’t make enough money, you got government cheese – your little part of the American dream – cheese.
I asked around so see what people thought about government cheese. Some remembered it. Some thought I was crazy. You had to be there.
Len Frommer: “Are you kidding? Government cheese? What is that?”
Garman Theslew: “I remember it. In the South. Our cheese had been stored in caves somewhere in the mountains for just such an event, like a national cheese shortage that might threaten our grilled cheese security.”
Len: “The government gave you cheese? Like from cows?”
Garman: “Is there another kind? Yes, from cows. If you qualified (meaning poor), you could get government cheese. They don’t do it anymore.”
Emanuelle Lipoldi: “But why cheese? How did it get elected for this honor? Can we live on cheese alone?”
Garman: “Dude, it was free.”
Kade Mohoney: “I always wondered about the cheese my family brought home. We must have fit into the right socioeconomic group to receive our fair share of such cheese. Big square cinderblock chunks of cheese, came in white boxes, jammed our fridge, fighting the remnant of other food in there. We ate a lot of damned cheese.”
Garman: “You were poor then. That’s how we got it.”
Earle Placcarde: “I guess the government cheese was cheddar, I don’t know my cheeses. There are other kinds, right? They must have just had too much cheese stored up. Not sure exactly how much cheese is enough. Can you OD on cheese? Why weren’t they handing out beer or flour or slab bacon? Bourbon, there’s a stimulus package.”
Len: “Government weed. That’s what we need now. You know they got tons of it when they raid a place.”
“Earle: “Uh yeah.”
Len: ”You are joking about this, right? I mean cheese?”
Shawnda Matouse: “True, baby. What we got was always pale yellow cheese. We had to go to a special place to pick it up. They had to be sure you were eligible for the free government cheese. Made us show ID’s and stuff. It felt shameful.”
Len: “But it was free, like Garman said.”
Sahwnda: “Yeah. It was free. Free cheese from Uncle Sam.”
Len: “Of all the things to give away, why cheese?”
Jarm Stewly: “Hey, I like cheese. I like free. It was a good deal all around. We ate cheese on everything, meat, rice, noodles, eggs, bread, broccoli, tomatoes, all of them got the free cheese drizzle. Mac and cheese was my favorite. Wads of cheese with sausage balled into cheese balls and fried was another. Tastes good going in. Unpleasant later. Cheese has an afterlife.”
Kade: “It will rip you up, stop you up or blow you up. I’m not sure that stuff was really cheese.”
Garman: “It was cheese. Trust me. I know cheese.”
Rake Oliver: “Government cheese may come back in this economy. Food is too high. I bought two burgers and two fries for $14.06 today. When I realized that it was my order, and not a screwup, I just drove away. I went to the dollar menu down the road. If I’d had some government cheese, I’d have just made a sandwich.”
Ren Hencock: “So government cheese may be staging a comeback? Is that what you’re saying? I wonder if there is still a pile of it in a cave under the Great Lakes?”
Jarm: “From the 80’s.”
Blennard Fowles: “All that pork in DC, they got to have some government cheese to go with it. Maybe there’s a business idea in that. Call it ‘Government Cheese & Pork Barrel Sports Bar and Grill.’”
Ren Hencock: “You could sell T-shirts with that printed on the cover. GC&PB.”
Kade: “I bet this is exactly how they came up with that iPhone thing or the idea for those amazing Sheetz beside the highway. Just plain smart thinking.”
Shawnda: “I suppose some cheese might help today. Insulation. Keep my energy bill down.”
Jarm: “Got to go. Now I’m hungry for some cheese.”
Tags: Food, Government
This entry was posted by Terry Taylor on Friday, November 6th, 2009 at 6:00 am and is filed under
Food, Government. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
Both comments and pings are currently closed.