Today is Thanksgiving. Turkeys work all year for this day. Only Groundhog Day is more associated with an animal. Bunnies and reindeer have prominent places at Easter and Christmas, to be sure, but bunnies, reindeer and groundhogs survive their holidays. Mr. Gobbler takes one for the team on Thanksgiving. Like many Americans in this economy, turkeys have little to be thankful for.
Wild turkeys at least get a sporting chance at dodging the bullet. They can fly. Not so farm-raised birds. They are prisoners of gravity. They exist for our culinary enjoyment. Whether roasting with rosemary, smothered in gravy, or riding on a sandwich, turkeys usually meet a bad end (at least from the turkey’s perspective) – and end up in our tummies, especially today.
Turkeys are like extras on the Sopranos. They always get whacked. Ninety-six percent of Americans eat turkey during the holidays. Most of that eating happens today. More than 48 million turkeys will ride the lightning during the next 24 hours. If a Hokie is, indeed, a turkey, then Virginia Tech fans will have little to cheer about as their mascot gets stuffed and devoured before the family heads over to stand in line outside Walmart tonight to get a jump on Black Friday deals.
Even though we will serve up 720 million pounds of turkey, Americans still revere the bird. There is some history under those feathers. What school aged child doesn’t know that Ben Franklin thought the wild turkey should be the national symbol instead of the bald eagle? Can you imagine the roles being reversed?
“Hey, Uncle Pete, can you pass me some more of that bald eagle and a few more dumplings?”
Just seems creepy, but it could have happened. One bird’s triumph turns into another bird’s nightmare. Now we put the bald eagle on our Presidential Seal and put the turkey in our mouth.
Contrary to popular belief, the Pilgrims likely did not serve turkey. It was probably cod, venison, seal or some other wild bird. Turkey came into favor when the colonists – used to serving goose during holiday feasts in England – had few geese in their new home across the Atlantic. So they ate the goose’s plentiful third cousin: a turkey.
As you watch the Macy’s Parade or the Detroit Lions lose to the Green Bay Packers today, contemplate the poor bird getting a terminal tan over there in your oven. We could have had ham or chicken or meatloaf. The American turkey, however, was just unlucky enough to be at the wrong place at the right time as it ran afoul of a holiday that was meant for a goose, but turned into a turkey.