Saying that Washington, D.C. has a traffic problem is like saying Angelina Jolie has huge lips. It is too obvious to even utter. But if you spend time in it, you begin to realize some patterns that lend prescience to bigger issues.
If kudzu were a political candidate, it would win the White House. If it were a sports team, nothing could stop it. It is the perfect metaphor for life. James Dickey wrote about it. The Southeast is buried in it. It grows a foot a night.
The election is over and the pundits have been packed away in colorful Tupperware boxes in the attic at CNN. So what now? With the recent rise of political action figures like Joe The Plumber (license sold seperately), I’ve been thinking about how The Professor and Mary Ann would fit into politics these days.
Acorns left from the fall crunched in the black leaves in the dampness under our feet. A bench lured us with its emptiness and the old man and I wandered over to sit wordlessly beside the muddy swirls of the river. The silence was awkward.
“So what do you think about the presidential race?” I asked.
In Virginia we have potholes on some of our highways deep enough to burst a tire and warp the rim.
“Hey, Bob, I think I ruptured a kidney on the way to work this morning.”
We have a car tax that is tantamount to buying a new car every year and paying the sales tax on it, [...]
Jeff Dunham and Walter. You’ve seen them, surely. If not, Google them. YouTube them. Click your remote around Comedy Central and a few other channels.
Jeff is the straight man, hand firmly up Walter’s keister, moving the dummy’s mouth without moving his own. But this dummy, Walter, I just can’t place him. He’s like someone I [...]
This is the third in a series about corporate Glue. The stuff comes in so many forms that you could use it to hold every company in the world together. But few people do. Let’s look at Glue out there in several companies in particular and industries in general – or even in American politics.
This summer, more than 24 members of Congress went to Iraq on “fact-finding” missions. The definition of such a mission is basically two days of riding around in the safe zone and talking to people who toe the company line. Granted, it was Iraq and that is not exactly like golfing in Myrtle Beach, but [...]
You think Southerners are good at football, cooking, eating and lying? Try revenge. We excel at this trait. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth is something we seem to have a penchant for, no matter that the Good Book is against such retribution. Maybe “Vengeance is mine, I will [...]
If anyone reading this went to Andalusia High School in south Alabama for any period of time, this won’t be news. But for those of you who are unfamiliar with Southern contradiction, read on. My high school fight song was a bit unusual, even back in the 1970s. They still sing it, I assume, at [...]